Although divorce is rarely easy for anyone involved, it can often be uniquely stressful for children. Even if separation or divorce is ultimately the right decision for your family, children, who often have not participated in the decision process until it is over, can react in many unpredictable ways.
Every divorce lawyer knows how difficult it can be for any family. Here are a few things Coquitlam parents should know about reducing their child’s stress during a divorce or separation:
What effects can divorce have on children?
Every child is different and has his or her own way of handling stressful situations. When it comes to divorce, children can feel overwhelmed, blameworthy and angry. Even if they appear outwardly to be taking the news well, they may be hiding their feelings if they feel confused or betrayed or responsible for the break up. Children often understand more than adults think, even if they can not always articulate their feelings. Be conscious of the effects your behaviour might have on your children.
Some things you can do to reduce stress for children:
Keep a regular routine. It helps children feel secure during transition periods.
Inform your children before any change occurs in their routine.
Give your child time to adjust with any change. It does not happen overnight.
Talk with your child about what’s going on in their life. Children can often feel confused or ignored during transitions. Be sure to regularly set aside time for just you and your child to talk one on one about how they are doing and to discuss what might be troubling them.
Don’t be afraid to consult a mental health specialist for either yourself or your children if you think it might be necessary. It is better to err on the side of caution and explore if any counselling or child therapist is recommended than to seek no help at all.
Avoid venting to your child when you are feeling frustrated by your ex or the divorce or separation process. Your children take their emotional cues from you so try to model good behaviour.
Don’t use your child as a messengerto relay information to your ex-spouse. This is your responsibility as an adult.
Don’t fight with the other parentin front of your children. And do not discuss any contested parenting issues in their presence.
When you and your family are going through something as stressful as a divorce or legal separation, you do not want to worry about the legal details as well. If you need a family lawyer, we at Valerie M. Little Law Corporation in Coquitlam have the experience to navigate you effectively through the divorce process. Contact us today to find out how we can help make your life easier.
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